“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
-BUDDHA-
Today, I am going to tell you a story (well I am really good storyteller)….
In one of his Seminar, a motivational speaker entered the hall with a hundred dollar note…And exhibited it …
Then he asked, “who want to take it?”
At first, no one was raising a hand, then one by one, almost everyone raised their hands…
The speaker then folded and crushed the note badly... And asked “Now?”
Everyone raised their hands again…
Then, the Speaker pressed the note with his shoes and repeated the same question. And again the audiences raised their hands to express their will to get the note.
Then the speaker said, “You see, you have just learned one of the most valuable lessons of your life”.
No one understood what was he talking about.
Then he explained, “ Your worth remain same after abuses, molestations, insults, failure, manipulated and all. It does not matter how others treat you or treated you in the past. Only your awareness about your own value and worth matters.”
This is one of my favorite stories because of its simplicity and depth.
Today we will focus on self-worth...
Maybe you are just going through a worse break up, a bankrupt, a jobless or isolation …
It is natural to feel worthless during such a crisis, I was there a few months back as well after my professional turmoil…
As usual, I researched and read a few books on the topic…and would love to share with you today… If a single one of you is going to be benefited through this article, then that will be the best reward for me.
Let’s get started…
1.UNDERSTANDING
If you reading this article, then I can guess that you are struggling with your self-worth. Lack of Self worth is the main reason behind the lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-care.
First, you need to understand what is self-worth. Self-worth is something internal, related to self-care, self-understanding. It is a kind of awareness about own flaws, negative sides, passions, changes you need.
Ask a few questions to yourself. Do you take other's validation for almost everything? Do you feel unsure about your decisions? Do you think you are good for nothing? If the answers are yes, then, unfortunately, you need to work on your self-esteem.
You need to accept yourself as you are and embrace yourself. Perfection is an illusion. No one can be perfect because the definition of perfection is not similar for everyone. Your flaws are natural so do not think that you are inferior. Understand it first to get started. Be mature enough to accept the responsibility for your own faults.
2. THE SELF IMAGE
Now that you have accepted the fact that you need to work on your self-worth, start with thinking and visualizing your healthy self-image. If you lack self-worth then you are definitely not satisfied with your present self-image. What you need to change to rectify and rebuild that is better known to you than anyone else. That healthy self-image is your goal.
3.EVALUATE
Evaluate your goal. Set realistic goals and work on “why”. You must have an important reason behind setting this goal. Evaluate the importance of working on your self-worth. If your reason is not convincing enough to yourself then you will not be able to continue the process for a long period of time.
4.WRITE DOWN
The first concrete step is to write everything in your journal. It will help you to understand the process and actions you need to take. Studies say writing down is a better way of achieving a goal. Realise that, this is not going to be a quick achieving change. It is processed and you need a proper plan. Writing down about the source of feeling worthless, the negative people of your life, your good sides will help you to prioritize or discard things you need to care.
5.FORGIVE
Before forgiving others first you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being good enough (according to others), Forgive for not being perfect. You have to be honest in this process.
6.NO VICTIM GAME
Stop playing the victim. You may get some sympathy for a short time but people will lose respect if you continue you victim games. Do not be a crybaby all the time. You must be mature enough to take the responsibility for your own action and accept that the consequences are the result of your actions.
7.SILENCE
Practice inner silence. Say no to your inner critic. There is always a scope to be a better version. But to do so, you need to reflect on the experiences without blaming yourself.
8.YOUR POSITIVE SIDE
No one can be a 100% worthless or negative or a bad person. Be honest and kind to yourself. Make a list of your abilities, positive things. Maybe you are a good listener or a good cook. Nurture your good qualities silently.
Pat on your back for small achievements as well.
9.DON’T GET COMFORTABLE
It is easier to be comfortable with our imperfection. But if you have the scope and still you are not willing to utilize that scope then you are going to face the same problems again and again. Remember, creativity is changing yourself with time. Step out of your comfort zone.
10.SELF CARE
Now I think you know what I want to say here. Self-care is ultimate. You are the most important person in your life. You need to care about your health, habit, career, and life. Listen to good music, have a pet, relax, read whatever you wish, just do it for your soul.
11. BREAK THE STEPS
Break the goal in gradual steps to start with. You need to plan small achievable goals to reach the ultimate goal. These goals are connected with each other and complete the circle.
12.TRACK
Track your progress. Meet your own deadlines. Write down the progress in your journal. Tracking your growth will help you to think if you need to any changes your plan or not.
Give yourself a reward for each achievement.
13.CONSISTENCY
Do not except a big change in a short period. It is a slow and productive process. Do not lose your hope. It may seem that you are not getting a result at all. But Babe, you need time to change an old concept.
14.LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’
Saying always yes do not make you a nice person. You have your own priorities, own schedule. You can not be nice to everyone. So do not try to be. Being always available means you have nothing to do. Set boundaries.
People have to adjust to your schedule, choice, and everything.
15.WORK ON MOTIVATION
You need a regular motivation dose to continue the process. You can keep a quote poster in front of your eyes, you can have a cheering friend, even you can keep a good wallpaper on your smartphone. This will always remind of your goal and work as a trigger.
Well for me great motivational speakers and bloggers worked best. I love to listen to audio books or youtube video. I do it almost every day.
I hope these will help you to increase your self-worth. Do not be impatient, Girl! No matter what happens externally and no matter what’s taken away from you, that does not decide your worth. Remember, if you do not value yourself, no one else will value you.
Let me know your progress, to keep me motivated as well….
